|Avengers Bake off
||[Aug. 25th, 2016|04:19 pm]
|[||Tags|||||avengers, bruce banner, clint barton, crosspost, great british bake off, mary berry, natasha romanov, paul hollywood, steve rogers, the incredible hulk, thor, tony stark||]|
So the Avengers end up on the Charity Bake Off and mayhem ensues almost immediately.
Clint knows how to bake only one thing. He can make really, really good flapjacks. Unfortunately the challenge is to make cupcakes. He attempts to cunningly disguise his flapjacks as 12 perfect cupcakes. He fails utterly and gets the Paul Hollywood look..
Tony produces half a dozen flat rubbery things that somehow manage to be raw and burnt at the same time. He is very proud and attempts to decorate them with Iron Man colours, only he doesn’t know how to mix icing either and they end up a weird pinky-orange colour.
Thor attempts to recreate some unearthly delicacy from his homeland. Unfortunately he runs into a snag:
“Have you the nectar of five golden apples?”
”… will seville do?”
“I require this to be beaten with a spoon of solid gold!”
“… we have a mixer?”
“This flour must be made only from the most precious wheat of Asgard’’s golden fields, and watered with only water from the clearest glaciers!”
*entire ingredients team quits on the spot*
He tries it anyway with normal ingredients. The cupcakes explode. At least, eh maintains that’s what happened, Steve thinks it might be because he tried to use Mjolnir to speed up the cooking.
Natasha is very secretive and doesn’t talk about her bake at all, although she comments endlessly on the others’. Finally she produces twelve perfect, dainty, fairy cupcakes, all delicately iced with pink butterflies. No one says anything, but Tony might have broken a rib in restraining himself.
Steve bakes shrunken down versions of the cakes he used to watch his mother make. They are very pretty and well made, and each one is iced to reference a member of the team. Tony tries to pass off Steve’s Iron man cupcake as his own.
And finally… Bruce wins.
Everything think he is going to fail after he Hulks out at the ten minute mark. However, the Hulk ignores the other avengers and the film crew desperately rushing to protect their cakes and camera equipment, snatches up the blocked piping bag that finally sent Bruce over the edge, squeezes a jet of icing out of it that hits Mary Berry in the face, and- face set in concentration- pipes twenty four tiny perfect fondant and icing flowers to decorate his meticulous and delicious rose and cardamon cupcakes.
Paul Hollywood is very glad they were the best. he was not looking forward to telling a grouchy Hulk, resplendent in a green and pink floral apron, that he would be going home this week.